"Once upon a time at the frozen North Pole, all the reindeers were getting ready for.... "
No , no ... stop the story ... STOP!!
We can't possibly talk about the C word ... its only mid September.
And yet the shops are full of it.
There are whole isles in Home Bargains that are all C word related and also orange and black everywhere ... and Halloween is at least six weeks away. It's all about selling well ahead of what's to come in the next couple of months.
I have to say though I love Home Bargains and its been a useful diversion of getting the children back to school last week with the temptation of a little reward after school. It worked wonders, until they pestered to go everyday after school and came out each time with a £4.99 present of plastic tat. Tat that usually requires Dad to reach for the philips screwdriver and the double AA batteries.
We now have a house full of battery powered magic wands with skulls and ghosts painted on them, Halloween bunting, even a Halloween door bell that welcomes you to a haunted house.
At least we've no Nightmare on Elm Street Freddie face masks yet ... but who needs those when everyone has a mask anyway?
So really why should I worry about mentioning Christmas ...??
Oops ! There I've said it!
So if you are all sitting comfortably, (socially distanced of course) then I shall begin:
Once upon a time at the frozen North Pole, all the reindeers were getting ready for the busy Christmas season.
Wayne dear and all his friends were busy making, packing and wrapping all the Christmas presents.
They were of course all socially distanced,
and all had PPE kit on.
There was one reindeer who insisted on making a bit extra out of the current season, we'll call him a Profiteer. (rhymes with deer)
When all the presents were wrapped, they were loaded onto the NEW and very special delivery train. (Wayne's Train)
The train added some more carriages ...
and then they all set off on their very long and magical journey delivering presents all over the world ...
They went up mountains ...
down mountains ...
they travelled across vast and frozen countries
until they reached the homes of children everywhere ...
and they very quietly unloaded all the presents and delivered them by hoof ...
all except for a few presents ... that had to be delivered by a very noisy helicopter, (because I forgot to write the helicopter into the story :) )
some of the presents were so special , the reindeers put name tags on, so mums and dads can write on them.
When all the presents had been delivered; all the reindeers were very tired and went back to the North Pole on the train in 1st class, for a well earned rest.
Well not quite ... it's just the beginning.
Because we'll just get Halloween out of the way and then it'll be upon us.
At least there's a very good reason NOT to visit the shops this year and be subjected to "I wish it could be Christmas everyday ... yaaaay" ... playing again and again.
You can shop from home and support us as a small business, and keep all the reindeers fed and watered for another year, so we can keep bringing you new and creative cards .
And by the way you can order these cards as personalised with your own message on, or purchase several non personalised cards at a time, with great discounts.
I'd better go ... someone ... (or something scary ) has just pressed the Halloween doorbell!